Three years ago in the fall, I began two parallel journeys. I attended my first High Holiday services here on the coast, and I began commuting to the Institute of Imaginal Studies to become a psychotherapist. Both journeys for me were about teshuvah, literally returning to my roots, the teachings of my ancestors, and to school. Throughout those three years, I was continually amazed by synchronistic experiences and teachings from Judaism and Imaginal Psychology. Now, my schooling near-complete, I am working at the Community Counseling Program in Mendocino as a counselor and Marriage Family Therapist Trainee where we offer low-cost, sliding scale sessions to individuals, couples, families, and groups. My desire is to give back to the community. My desire is to use this weaving of teachings and practices from Judaism and Imaginal Psychology to help people grow both spiritually and creatively.
My first year at school, I started noticing my dreams aligning with the Jewish Holidays. For example, at a school retreat one March I had a dream where I was a young dark-skinned girl making flat bread and heading into long travels with my family. At the end of the dream the large joyful Mother called me to climb the ladder out of the dark, hidden, underground home and into our travels in the world of light. -- "Come on, Tikkun," she called, naming me in the dream. At the time I did not even know what Tikkun meant, but it sounded familiar. I asked the teacher at school and then Margaret -- thus began the incredible experiences of weaving the teachings of Judaism and my work with Imaginal Psychology.
That same year, my schoolmates and I were creating bodyspirit portraits. As mine was evolving into a golden tree with the symbols of the Tree of Life in the heart that the tree shared with an enormous black bird, I had the following dream. -- I am a hasid joyfully walking down the street. I wear the hat and beard and curling sidelocks. Floating down the street above and beside me, attached by a cartoon bubble is the Tree of Life. The voice in the dream said I had nothing to fear, the Tree was and is and will forever be journeying with me.
Our dear friend Polly Green is introducing me to the oral teachings of Rabbi David A. Cooper on The Mystical Kabbalah. Rabbi Cooper repeatedly calls for the use of the imagination. Once again, I am struck by the deep collaborative relationship between Kabbalah and Imaginal Psychology. In a tape on meditations Rabbi Cooper summons the use of active imagination when working with our dreams and meditations. In another series, before telling a story he gives the following teaching:
"The idea, if possible, is not to simply listen to the story but to be in it. To immerse yourself. The ability to use your imagination to dwell in the storieswill enhance the process of mending the vessel of your being so that more light will fill it." I am now in the business of helping people build on their innate capacity to use their imagination to mend the vessel of their being - to heal the wounds of the heart and the soul "so that more light will fill it." Margaret is helping me develop a language for this process I am so eager to help people experience. At the moment we are calling it spiritual and creative growth: transmuting spiritual desires into creative action in the world.
Recently, I gathered a small circle for a ritual to open and bless my new office space. We hung a mezuzah and Margaret began a kind of beit din - impromptu. I was asked who my ideal client is. I answered: anyone who is feeling stuck and has a desire to change and transform. Then she asked what I had to offer, in terms of real help, to this client. I spoke of a magical box of tools I have that can help people on their transformational journey, and how I teach people about the tools and how to use them. However I do not claim to "fix people", but rather I help them make choices about what they want to adjust. I help them find the tools that feel right in their own hands to make the desired adjustments. I help by listening compassionately and attentively, so a space is created in which people hear their own inner voice more and more clearly. Some of the tools in the box include drawing, journaling, dreamwork, telling and retelling the stories of our lives, discovering and giving voice to the multitude of beings who live inside us, practicing teshuvah, reflexivity, and talking to rocks and birds and beasts on walkabouts. (Rabbi Gershon Winkler writes and teaches about the walkabout in the Ancient Hebrew texts and traditions).
For the Jewish Community, I hope to offer workshops and groups, continue to write in the Megillah on the connections between Jewish Mysticism and Imaginal Psychology, and to see some of you in my office to practice this work of spiritual and creative growth. If there is any other way you hope I can be of assistance please let me know. The Community Counseling Program is part of the Mendocino Recreation and Community Center. Steve Siler, MA, MFT is my supervisor. My work number is 937- 3748.
I'd like to close with another quote from Rabbi Cooper on a teaching from the Baal Shem Tov. These words have especially helped me during this difficult time in our community, our country, and the world.
"There's a holy spark in the universe of doubt. There's a holy spark in the universe of anger. There's a holy spark in the universe of anxiety. There's a holy spark in the middle of all of these universes, and our job is to try to raise that up and bring that in deep connection with the divine. There's even a spark in the world of sadness. And so with due caution the teaching in this story is look for the holy sparks in everything you see and everything you encounter because even the heart of evil carries deep within it this holy spark."
© 2004 Alena Deerwater
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Updated 11/30/2004 (rge)